Shizaya On Crack
by My Mutilated Heart
Summary: This is just a goofy fic about the little, incredibly weird and demented things that I dream about in my wittle fangirl mind. ... Mmmmmm... Shizaya...
1. Chapter 1

**Shizaya On Crack**

 **In summary: This is just a goofy fic about the little, incredibly weird and demented things that I dream about my my wittle fangirl mind...**

 **...**

 **Oh...**

 **Still reading this are you...?**

 **You uh... can go away now...**

 **...**

 **You still there..?**

 **Why won't you leave?!**

 **..**

 **Quit starin at me!**

 **...**

 **Oh, what the hell, read the damn fic...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **..**

 **...**

 **Just bleach your eyes afterwards ≧ω≦**

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^.^

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"Do do do do do doo~, do do do da doo~" Izaya strutted down the streets of Ikebukoro in his usual manner when suddenly..

GASP!

He noticed a wild Shizu-chan in his natural enviornment! Izaya crouched down behind a trashcan, as passer-by's marvelled at his advanced level of stealth. He continued to watch the majestic Shizuo as said monster was demonstrating his strength to the other males in the area. The blond ripped the nearest telephone pole out of the ground and swung it above his head, giving a loud growl and showing dominance. But still, the other males still stalked the wild Shizu-chan. A large Russian man jumped into the scene as well, challenging Shizuo to dare fight his ever precious potential customers.

In a wild rage, the monster growled ferally and attacked. But the Russian male had a fair amount of strength as well. Another alpha-male. Onlookers scurried away as the two dominant males campared their dick sizes in terms of strength. Shizuo pushed and pushed, but try as he might, he was flung far, far away from the sight in a small flash of light, as if he turned into a star in the ever marvelous sky.

Seeing that the territory had now been claimed by a new alpha-male, Izaya skipped along his way to find his wild Shizu-chan.

He had to try to tame him didn't he?

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-Mei


	2. Chapter 2

**Shizaya On Crack**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara or it's characters :3**

 **Thanks to:**

 **Pookabearpie for reviewing the first chapter (灬** **ω 灬** **) I'm glad I could make my readers smile**

 **Note: I'm a disturbing person, with a WEIRD and even more disturbing mind, so of you are reading this and have seen either Hunter X Hunter or Hunter X Hunter (2011), expect Izaya to act similar to Hisoka with a cross of the Joker from anything Batman. Cuz' deep down, everyone has a little Hisoka inside them... Wow, that came out weird... ANYWAY! Enjoy the fic~!**

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"Oh, Shizu-chan~, where art thou Shizu-chan~" Izaya spoke dramatically as he skipped down the slums of downtown Ikebukoro.

His crimson gaze traveled to and from the many interesting things about the place. A drug dealer trying to sell some dope to a twitchy teenager, a group of men harassing a girl who turned out to be a karate master, and a grown man licking spilled alcohol off of the dirty pavement. Izaya sighed in contentment. He threw his arms around himself dramatically,

"Ahh~ my people~"

Just as he was about to turn down another road, he noticed a few large men being thrown about out of a alleyway.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Izaya's Brute Meter was going off. He smiled wickedly as he trotted down the short path to his possible impending doom. Izaya got to see a man flung into the air and fall down at such a fast speed that his clothes were torn to shreds. At this Izaya began hysterically laughing along with clapping his hands at the wonderful performance.

At last, he saw his wild, feral Shizu-chan, who seemed that if he were any angrier that he would be foaming at the mouth. Well, Izaya had to change that, ne?

While Shizuo roared and raged, Izaya stealthily took the opportunity to sneak up behind the brute and rake his fingernails down the toned back. Startled by the touch, Shizuo whipped his head around furiously. His golden eyes met crimson and what little control he had left had been lost.

"IIIIIIZAAAAAYAAAAAA!" Shizuo whipped around in order to punch the flea but said flea dodged magnificently, deliciously showing off his fine ability of flexibility. Back and balanced on his feet, Izaya giggled maniacally.

"Oh Shizu-chan, don't look at me so heatedly~" Izaya swooned, letting a hand travel down his torso down to his crotch to emphasize his hardening dick.

"It turns me on~.."

Shizuo blushing a bright shade of red at Izaya's eccentric actions, he stumbled back a bit, which made the raven haired man laugh all the more.

"You sick minded parasite!" Shizuo bit out to hide his embarrassment for the situation but nothing couls slip past the flea.

"Oh~ call me more, Shizu-chan!" Izaya stalked forward to the blond while Shizuo slowly backed away from the raven.

'W-what the hell is up with him?!' Shizuo couldn't help but mentally scream. He always knew that Izaya had a few loose screws but this was... Weird..

With his back meeting the brick wall, Shizuo then chose to panick. The flea kept coming closer and closer until he were a mere few inches away from his monster. Izaya had only realized as of late his deep attraction for the blond and found pleasure teasing his monster.

Touching his nose to Shizuo's, his eyes became half mast and Shizuo's breath hitched. He punched Izaya in the gut hurriedly and the raven crumpled to the ground, coughing up a bit of blood.

 **'Awww~ I was so close~'** Izaya whined.

Izaya chuckled a bit as the blond fled the scene, unsure of how to comprehend the fleas recent behavior.

"Et tu, Shizu-chan?" Izaya smiled a bit solemnly. Even though he knew the blond wouldn't return his affections, he couldn't help but laugh bitterly at himself that Shizuo had fled from him like everyone else.

"Haha..."

 **'You too, Shizu-chan..?'**

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 **Okay, it's a bit sad at the moment but even the weirdest of stories need a plot!**

 **-Mei**


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